I opened my heart to the empty room. At first, it gave no sound. Then, I heard a faint creak from near the bed. My body froze while my thoughts raced. Bloodstains still splattered the rose trellis wallpaper, just as I had seen in the faded newspaper pictures from years ago.
Tiny hairs on my arms rose as I stood in the frigid air of the old house where my biological parents once lived. The house where I was created. I ran my fingers along the faded oak dresser.
“Who am I?” I wondered aloud.
It was no secret that I was adopted as a newborn. However, I’d never been told where I came from until I turned eighteen. My adoptive parents sat me down, and with anxious eyes, handed me an envelope. It held several cutout news articles that told a dark story of my beginning. After several weeks, I finally found the nerve to search for my forgotten past.
“Who’s here?” I asked my stark surroundings. It answered with a faint mumble. Dust began to dance in the old bedroom. Particles sparkled with life. The icy cold air that had enveloped me a moment earlier was gone, replaced by a warm, gentle embrace. I stood transfixed in its mist. I had come to the abandoned Victorian mansion in search of the ghosts of my past. –I hadn’t thought it would give them up so easily.
Police Called to Domestic Dispute, the headline had read.
The air around me grew heavier, like a weight on my body. It became harder to breathe. Reaching out, I felt its substance in my hands. Then I saw it, just as if it had always been there. Gray, grainy molecules pulsed with electricity. The particles fused into an orb of energy that grew until it almost filled the room. There was warmth in its touch, safety in its pressure, hope in its existence.
I closed my eyes. The image of old newsprint mirrored on the inside of my lids…husband in a fit of drunken rage…
For a moment, I thought of running. Then the feeling passed. I extended both arms towards the ceiling; my hands cut through the gray air as if it were fluid. The substance clung tight to my body yet let me turn freely, with resistance not unlike water.
Pregnant female rushed to the hospital with multiple stab wounds…
My mind stirred with a noise unlike I’d ever heard. The symphony of sounds, simultaneously soft and loud, inhabited my head. It was impossible to describe with adjectives—sounds of existence, joy, love, creation—not made for human ears, while severed sentences continued to echo in my subconscious
Husband takes his own life…
Standing wide-eyed in disbelief, I looked around in desperate need of someone, a witness to my encounter. Then a calm came over me. This wasn’t a random phenomenon. I belonged here—just me—alone. Had I found what I’d been searching for?
While mother clings to life…
I turned in a complete circle to find the aura surrounding me in a vast sphere. Within the area, the fuzzy gray air blurred my vision, but I could look beyond the distortion. About three feet out in all directions, I could see the end of the apparition. Outside the circle, everything remained in perfect clarity.
Infant delivered by caesarean section
Walking towards the circle’s edge, I stuck my arm through the perimeter. I could see
goosebumps on my flesh in the stark, cold air. Quickly, I pulled my chilled limb back into the warm density of my circle.
“Do you know me?” I asked.
Still disbelieving my senses, I sought to test the limits of the apparition. Reluctantly I stepped outside the circle. My body shivered with the chill. I turned in fear. My protective sphere was still there, pulsing and sparkling. I ran back to its embrace. It wrapped around me, just as I had never left.
Mother succumbs to wounds…Infant survives
As the air cleared, the whisper of words filled the empty room, “Don’t forget me.”
“Never,” I promised.
